… from the bungalow

Stop hate. Love yourself.

11 Comments

You know what makes me sad? I mean really, deeply sad?

Self-Hatred

Maybe you grew up with a low sense of self-worth.

Maybe affection was withheld except on those occasions when you wore a handsome shirt or a pretty dress, or when you earned an “A” because “a ‘B’ is good, but you can do better.”

Maybe you were labeled “lazy” or “selfish.”

Maybe you started to believe and even repeat those messages to yourself.

Maybe you developed unhealthy coping mechanisms to replace the need for affection or acceptance.

Maybe you started to wish you were different, or someone else entirely, or non-existent.

Maybe you began to hurt yourself, physically or emotionally.

Maybe you learned berate yourself for not being “enough.”

And maybe–just maybe–you are

Maybe there’s a light in you that feels small.

Maybe that light has big dreams.

Maybe that light knows everything about love and nothing about fear.

Maybe that light wants, needs, to expand…
to be free…
to love freely.

Maybe that light isn’t in you.

Maybe that light is you.

Be your light. Love freely and unapologetically. Love yourself.

Chris

Artwork ©Katie m. Berggren ~ http://www.kmberggren.com

Artwork ©Katie m. Berggren ~ http://www.kmberggren.com

May I hold this close to my heart always in dealing with my children and my own inner child. I wish the same for you.

Hate and love begin with the self. Break the cycle. Create love.

Your turn! What’s one “memorable message” (negative or positive) you received growing up that has stuck with you into adulthood? Next, what’s one thing you love about yourself?

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Author: Chris

A dad with a self-evaluation complex. Also a music therapist, college enrollment administrator, and hippie-nerd.

11 thoughts on “Stop hate. Love yourself.

  1. Dear Christopher, thank you so much for having the integrity to ask before using an image of one of my paintings! And thank you for the credit line.
    And I think you’ll LOVE that the image you chose is titled “Lit From Within”, perfect, eh? Thank you again, and I really like your blog post, it is very timely for me.
    Sincerely, Katie m. Berggren
    http://www.KmBerggren.com

  2. In 9th grade I heard some kids teasing a boy saying that he liked me. When I looked over at them, he said very loudly, “I don’t like her, she’s ugly!” Even though it was a thoughtless comment from a teenage boy, it stuck with me into adulthood. The self-hatred didn’t stop until I saw myself through the eyes of my daughters.

    One thing I love about my (physical) self would be my eyes. They’re mostly green, but have a ring of blue around the outside, and a ring of gold around the inside of the iris.

    Most importantly, though, is that I’m not afraid to be silly and have fun with my kids, even if other people are around. Enjoying life FTW!

  3. Loving freely and unapologetically is easier for me when I am directing it toward someone other than myself. But I’m getting better.

    Thanks for this post. & hearts;

  4. Pingback: Stop hate. Love yourself. | arieyani's Blog

  5. Beautiful Entry. Loved it.

  6. First, the art is truly lovely and fitting for this post. What a wonderful choice.

    My upbringing was tough, my adoptive mother and I had an abrasive relationship from as early as I can remember. Her messages of “not enough and not good enough” stuck with me into adulthood and guided many of my choices, most of them terrible for many years. Her messages continue in some ways to define my emotional landscape and how I interact with the world and those I love.

    What I most love about myself? I didn’t continue the cycle of abuse to the next generation. While I did not have children of my own, I ended up with step-children who became integrated into my life and woven into my heart. I fought for them, chose them. Their mother is a dear friend though their father is my ex. I chose love, I chose strength, I chose to open my heart and take a risk.

  7. Maybe, I really needed to hear this today for my self…. Maybe I should believe in those big dreams I keep trying to bury and sabotage.

    Maybe it makes my heart crumble for the little kids I know who have been unfairly labeled as “sociopath” and “bully” at younger than five years old. Maybe (definitely), I am so glad that I get to be a light in their lives who gets to mirror back their greatness.

    Thank you for posting this. 🙂

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