… from the bungalow

100th Blog Post: 100 promises to my family

32 Comments

For my 100th blog post, rather than list 100 things I’ve learned from blogging or the like, I felt it appropriate to write an open letter to my family. I’ve been really depressed lately, and part of my work to get out of this pit is to change my thought patterns. It’s tricky, but one way I can create change is to be more purposeful in the way I nurture and encourage my family, including myself.

These are not just words. This is not a simple declaration. These 100 promises to my family will serve as the benchmark against which I measure my daily interactions with everyone in the household, and by which I hold myself accountable.

I am also working on a walk-through of each of these 100 promises: where they stem from, how I’m implementing them, and how you can apply them to your life as well. Some of these promises are things I’m already silently doing, and some are things I need to work on.  Either way, I will be sharing these promises with my family members and keeping you posted on how it affects everyone individually and as a family.

So, are you ready? Great. Here we go!

FtB's 100th Blog Post: 100 promises to my family

DSCN1715Promises to The Little Professor:

  1. I promise to be patient with you when you’re agitated and cannot express yourself. (Read more.)
  2. I promise to sing you your bedtime song every night that you and I are together. (Read more.)
  3. I promise to provide opportunities for you to grow and learn, even if that causes discomfort in me, others, or even you. (Read more.)
  4. I promise to provide food, supplements, and shelter for you, even when I hate my job. (Read more.)
  5. I promise to protect you from harm, but not always from intensity. Intensity pushes us to expand. (Read more.)
  6. I promise to let you dress yourself for school. My hurried schedule should not interfere with your personal development. (Read more.)
  7. I promise to be proud of you at every moment, in all cases, regardless of any pressure I may feel to make apologies for your behavior. (Read more.)
  8. I promise to act silly and make you laugh with faces and voices. (Read more.)
  9. I promise to keep the driveway shoveled and salted in the winter, and walk you out to the bus for as long as you need me to. You will never break another bone if I can help it. (Read more.)
  10. I promise to shower you with hugs. (Read more.)
  11. I promise to share lots of music with you. (Read more.)
  12. I promise to take you to museums and movies. (Read more.)
  13. I promise to be involved in your IEP meetings and communicate with your teachers and therapists, trusting them to do the jobs they are trained to do. (Read more.)
  14. I promise to tickle you unless you tell me to stop. And sometimes even when you do. (Read more.)
  15. I promise to push you on the swing and pretend to let you kick me in the face then fall down. (Read more.)
  16. I promise to always act in your best interest, even if that meant sending you to live with your mom. As much as I feel I need you here, I’ll never let that get in the way of you living your best life. (Read more.)
  17. I promise to reassure you when you need it, but never to indulge you when you’re “milking it.” (Read more.)
  18. I promise to advocate for you. (Read more.)
  19. I promise to play with you at your level, on your terms. (Read more.)
  20. I promise to do whatever I can to make this world a better place because of the light you’ve shown me, a deed for which I will eternally be grateful. (Read more.)

Continue to page 2: Promises to Little Bird

Author: Chris

A dad with a self-evaluation complex. Also a music therapist, college enrollment administrator, and hippie-nerd.

32 thoughts on “100th Blog Post: 100 promises to my family

  1. This was very moving each promise I read. This morning! !

  2. Chris, I promise to love you unconditionally forever!

  3. I loved this. You are a man to be treasured.

  4. You have many obstacles to overcome, but the first step is acknowledging there is room for improvement. Blended families aren’t easy, personal/ work stress redirects on to those who are closest to us unjustly. Kids with special needs, or kids in general add to relationship stress. Seems to me you are on the right path. I find your honest self reflection very moving , like you said baby steps .

    • Glad you understand, Joy. Yes, I’m genuinely interested in being a better father, partner, and individual. I own the fact that I have a tendency to make proclamations without a call to action to myself. This is more of a call to action than a proclamation.

  5. If every person made just one or two of these promises, what a world this would be! Thank you for taking the lead.

    • I know! Just having the transparency of posting these promises has started to have a positive effect on my outlook, even if I remember only two of them, and I’m fully confident that this is a great stride toward having a healthy, happy family. Thanks, Lisha.

  6. I love you. I love this post. The promises to Lucas made me cry my eyes out. Thank you.

  7. Oh wow. This is amazing. I will be sharing.

  8. Beautiful. And if you can keep #67 then you are an amazing tower of strength. ♥

  9. Oh Chris….I just hope that you comprehend what a beautiful message this is to your family….it is going to ripple through him, through all of us and just keep going and going….Beautiful !!! What an incredible dad you are and role model for other men and fathers…

  10. I read all one hundred of your promises, by the end I had tears in my eyes. Your children (all of them) are fortunate and blessed in their father.

  11. Chris, I have been away from the computer for a week, but let me just say how refreshing, touching, inspiring, and powerful it is to come back to THIS. What strikes me as I read each one of these eloquently versed promises is how well you KNOW your children. Honestly, the small details you note about how to support each one, how to make them smile, and how to avoid conflict are remarkable. I have many teens who visit my blog. Their request is small. They want their parents to know them — really know them. Please realize that your promises are beautiful, but the fact that you could write them as you did speaks volumes. There is so much to be learned here. I really loved that you made promises to yourself. Please be kind to yourself, Chris. I have said it before and I will say it again, you don’t give yourself enough credit. You are a loving father, and your family is truly blessed.

    I can’t wait for the follow-up post!

    Rachel

    • Wow. Thank you, Rachel. I really appreciate all your support and kind words. This post wouldn’t have been the same without your initial input a couple of weeks ago.

      I do hope that my boys feel heard and understood as they grow older. Being a teenager is tough. I can’t imagine being a parent to one, but it’s bound to happen sooner or later! 😉

      I have yet to share all of these with the kids. I’ve told them that I’ve got some things I want to tell them: promises I want to share. Little Bird has already asked me about it. I don’t want to rush the follow-up post, but there are side-notes on each promise already in the works!

      Thanks again, Rachel.

      Chris

  12. Pingback: Promises Guide: 1-5 (1/20) | ... from the bungalow

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  16. Damn! That was good. You inspire me. Thanks. Wish I could say more but I’m sort o speechless. Your kids sound so great!
    Thanks again.

    • Yeah, they’re alright. I think I’ll keep ’em. Honestly, Beth, I’m trying. This post is about transparency. I want to be a better dad and partner (and self), so I put it out there for the world to see.

      I’m glad you liked it. Thanks for your comments!

  17. Pingback: Promises Guide: 21-25 (5 of 20) – Little Bird | ... from the bungalow

  18. You already make a difference.

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