… from the bungalow

Woman: Whoa, Man (Blogger Idol Week 2)

4 Comments

Here was my submission for Week 2 of Blogger Idol. I meant to post this last week, once voting was over. Forgot. Sorry. But you’ve already read it anyway, right? Because you voted for me and all… Either way, here was my post.

“If I Could Be the Opposite Sex for a Day…”

Trying to think about what I’d do for a day as a woman feels a bit like trying to plan a one-day vacation to Paris. Or, more accurately, all of France. What should I do? And how could I possibly fit it all in? You can’t really get an in-depth cultural education in a day. Because isn’t that what we’re talking about here? Living as a woman and living as a man are two different cultural experiences. Some would say different worlds (“Venus and Mars” and all that).

Well, if I knew I was going to spend the day as a woman, the first thing I’d do is take the day off of work. If I so much as wear a tie to work, I have to put up with all the “oh, well, don’t we look nice today” nonsense. As if I didn’t look “nice” everyday. I can only imagine if I walked in there sporting breasts.
Speaking of which, I’d spend the first 10 or 15 minutes couple of hours inspecting the goods. I mean, how cool is that?! It would be like the Batmobile showing up in my drive way (Holy serendipity, Batman!); I’d have to inspect the air bags, turn the dials, push the buttons, then take it for a spin and really push it to the edge. *nudge, nudge*

Next, assuming I’d be able to “get it all out of my system,” I like to think I’d do some of the things I can’t feasibly do as a man. For example, maybe I’d volunteer at a battered women’s shelter and just cry while I listen to people’s stories. It may sound all “Kumbaya,” but it’s totally something I’d do now if I could. I’ve led women’s (eating disorder) music therapy groups before, and it’s tricky as a man, even if you are a therapist.

If that didn’t work out, I’d learn to ride a unicycle.

Around midday, I’d go out to lunch and walk around town with Karin (my fiancee), behaving like I normally would, just to see what kind of looks and comments we’d attract. I’ve always been a huge proponent of equal human rights, but as a straight ally, I have not had to personally endure sexual discrimination. I think that could do a lot to boost my passion and motivate me to advocate more.

In the afternoon, maybe I’d come home and record a couple of vocal tracks for duets I want to sing with Karin, since I can’t convince her to do it (yet). Or, for that matter, any of the amazing songs sung by women that I would love to cover. I can sing them now, but it doesn’t have the same effect, what with the Adam’s apple and all.

And after a long day of discovering, experiencing, unicycling, and singing, I’d spend the rest of the evening with Karin. To the Batmobile!

(Holy innuendo!)

~ Chris(ty?) (https://fromthebungalow.wordpress.com/)

Judges Comments: 

“Your post started out really strong and it was flowing nicely. Somewhere in the middle you lost your wind and it fizzled by the end.”
T. Rojas, from Motherhood: The Definition of Insanity

“i like how you would actually go and do some good and learn a few new things. i think its funny that you would like of unicyling, too funny!! your post was short, sweet, and entertaining. good job. ”
Erica, from Good Job Momma

“Overall a good post. It was interesting to see how you combined “trying out the parts” and being an advocate all within your one day as woman. Not to mention unicycling, that is quite the agenda!”
Random Girl, from Random Girl Blog

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Author: Chris

A dad with a self-evaluation complex. Also a music therapist, college enrollment administrator, and hippie-nerd.

4 thoughts on “Woman: Whoa, Man (Blogger Idol Week 2)

  1. This is my first time hearing of Blogger Idol. I think everyone would spend some time checking out their new “parts” in this same situation! I really like the way you didn’t spend the whole day doing that, but opted to do some good for others, as well! Good post!

    • Yeah, Blogger Idol is a new thing and is the brain child of Heather of My Husband Ate All My Ice Cream. I think it will gain popularity as it goes.

      Thanks, Sprinkles! I’m glad you found me.

  2. You looked so sexy in that bikini. Whatever happened to it?

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